Today’s such an indifferent day..  I’m not feeling too good, Mom has the stomach flu .. and it kills me not to have my friends with me this Christmas ( Although it makes me happy knowing that they’ll enjoy theirs).
My smile is way way way far in the distance .. but you kinda brought it closer through the clouds..  Even if my heart and my mind werent clicking, for that one moment.. it did.. Thank you for the smile. Thank you this time.

My heart, My friend

I dont know what to say..  maybe I shouldnt..
I wished that I could Fly.. but i couldnt..
I know that you are far.. theres little i can do…
All I want now.. is to spend some time with you..

That place in my heart is torn open again.. and my mind is wandering like crazy.. it is everywhere, at this very moment it is crossing the Sahara..

It feels weird like this.

Just Like That.

Somehow, I find myself again caught up in the winds that changes too much for my liking. There are things out of my hands, and always it has something to do with the person I am.  Sometimes I feel that I am too much of a creeper like one stretching all the way across an abandoned wall to the closest window possible. Looking for life, looking for something i could use.
I literally despise this feeling. Although it makes me feel alive while it lasted.. the end results have made me short of breath and feeling a little big useless, just a little.
Couldn’t my world for once turn in my way even if it means I’ll have  to walk blindly til i reach my destination?
If You have One day, One Wish, One way… would you do it again?

I dont know about you.. but I would.

say goodbye.

I feel like i have already waved Goodbye to Hollywood music..
Movies.. Not so much.

Soulmade.

Well, maybe not in every single young boy’s mind would he be thinking of the possibility of finding a soul mate. But after many many nights to self reflective thoughts whenever i see fit, i find that i come to one conclusion. As much as i would like to believe there’s one person for every person, i have to say i disagree.
Thinking that there’s only once person would definitely make you more happier when you find him/her, but truthfully.. think about the possibilities. If there was ONE person made for you or me out there, what if he/she lives in another country? or doesn’t even know you exist and vice versa. If there was just ONE person in the world for you, why would movie stars marry movie stars? seems like a million to one chance huh?
As much as i won’t think about finding one, i guess finding the right one or the closest that fit the bill should probably be fine. I don’t know i guess when it comes to the opposite sex, our live revolves around us; like how much they are ALOT like us or how much they are completely DIFFERENT from us.. who knows..
Love is a mystery after all ..

.iPray.

Every morning when I awake from my sleep, I pray the Lord grant me serenity to get through my day.. I take 5 minutes for the  next 15 hours I’m gonna be awake. I pray that He grants me the peace of mind that sets me apart and be calm in times when i need to. My heart pounds everytime i lose it, I don’t want to but it’s a feeling that have always overpowered me but I am truly afraid that if I let it go completely i wouldn’t have any control whatsoever. Saying that, i feel if I’m having the control it might also be just a cougar in a cage.. I pray for peace, I pray for good days, I pray for sincerity and I pray for life.

ill be back.

soon.

of a damp basketball court.

Im sorry if you guys have been checking back here just to find that i havent updated..

I made a promise to myself to only blog after it had hit me that 2 of my friends are no longer in the same country as i am..

So,

Here i am writing this because i know that the next year will be a bit different … some things i cant say, some things i cant do and even if i can it wouldn’t feel the same.

After coming back today, i noticed a puddleful basketball court, the same basketball court that i first visited my first day at my new home.

The air was different and it wasnt the rain that stopped 20 minutes ago or the ball that was kinda lacked of air.. its just a moment of sheer poetry.. It was loss, new beginnings, friendship and even a hint of hunger.

My fingers talked with the ball and walked past the damp air and not until i took  a sit i just realised that i have been back to the start.

The start that i once wanted but until now never realised that i didnt actually like it.

I headed home and at least now something familiar would bolster me and it did.

fan arts post #1

Im back on the forum! felt so goood…

Since i’m on i thought that i should make some arts.. (first time doing)

So, after visiting the Tree Hill forum.. i thought i’d do some mia catalano/kate voegele arts..

So here they are.

but to me its normal.

- by ProudOfBeingStrange

A photograph to me, is more than a thousand words..

the expressions, the moment, the people.. nothing can emulate that.

I think i recognise people from pictures more than first impressions.. i feel that they always wear their hearts on their sleeves.. for real.

There is pictures of one person that i cant seem to get my mind around.. or sometimes think straight and as you might guess its a her..

Sometimes she takes the pictures, but it’s always seem to be very third party.

It seems that everytime i see her.. its a smile or maybe a giggle..

but never one that raises my eyebrow..

I know i may sound weird.. but to me its normal, being stricken by a photo, by a word or even by a surrounding

Theres one where she looks into the camera behind this small sensitive smile sits someone who is really thinking how would that moment look on the picture, concentrated yet released..

sigh ..

its hard to put into words ..

Its just something that you get.. in the moment.